


We Come From Dirt

by flowerbedofsouls



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Family, Family Fluff, Family Issues, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 12:11:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9071083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerbedofsouls/pseuds/flowerbedofsouls
Summary: Isak sleeps at his dad's house again, and has a heartfelt talk with his little sister Lea.
This is a stand-alone piece, but slightly inspired by my Christmas fic For One Night (It's Christmas). It takes place right before Christmas Eve.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the talk I had with a friend, which I couldn't really let go of. You'll find the inspirational tweets on my [Tweet Thread](https://twitter.com/raresora/status/813111065517191168), however it's in Swedish.

_”Man, I swear to God, I almost lost my mind, for real_  
_I left with all the pieces I could find and feel_  
_It’s dark now outside but it’s dark in my mind_  
_I lost all that I love at the same fucking time_  
_And the pressure to be with the pressure to climb,_  
_Left me broken in places too desolate to find”_

— Angel Haze with On Fire

 

*

 

Isak is standing outside his dad’s new house. It’s different from what he is used to call _home_ , and he really hasn’t been visiting much since his dad left him with his mother. He only helped him moving once, and it had not been _nice_.

 

Back then, he had been filled with rage and desolation. Every time Terje—his dad—had tried to speak to him, he had answered shortly and bitingly. It had been an awkward evening which had eventually led to Terje sighing and telling Isak to go back to his mother.

 

Naturally he hadn’t gone back to his mother immediately. He had visited Jonas and they smoked weed until Isak had been high as a kite and _then_ he had sneaked back home and cried in his lonesome.

 

But right now, Isak doesn’t feel rage and desolation. At this moment, he is feeling… hopeful, and there is a slight acceptance in his hope.

 

Maybe it’s because he’s been talking to Even. It had been liberating to talk about it with someone who wouldn’t judge him harshly. Not that Jonas would—he would never, and Isak knows this—but…

 

Jonas isn’t Even.

 

He rings the doorbell and steels himself.

 

Terje answers the door, with Lea—his little sister—is curiously taking a peek behind him.

 

Isak’s heart drops. _Lea_. His lovely little sister, carefree but affected by everything.

 

“Isak!” Terje breaks out in a smile. “Come inside.”

 

While taking off his shoes in the hallway, he suddenly feels two arms hugging his waist. He almost falls over but manages to regain his balance.

 

“Isak,” Lea mumbles and presses her face into Isak’s stomach. Her arms hold him tighter.

 

“ _Halla, min solstråle_ ,” Isak says affectionately, stroking her blonde hair. “You’ve gotten taller.”

 

“You too,” she tells him, her words muffled against his stomach.

 

Despite the ugliness of circumstances—the reasons why his dad left his mum and how everything played out—Lea is still the bright and loving little sister.

 

And he may get used to this being home.

 

*

 

“So, this is your room—well, you know that already, I suppose,” Terje says in an awkward attempt to get them talking.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I kept it clean and everything,” Terje adds, his voice strained. “I—I know we didn’t talked much when you helped with the moving but...”

 

_“I hate you! Why did you leave? Why didn’t you bring me with you? What the fuck, dad?”_

“Yeah,” Isak repeats, looking down at his socks.

 

_“Isak, I know it’s hard, but I’m trying my best—“_

 

“Yeah,” Terje agrees.

 

 _“You’re trying? You’re_ trying _? I don’t see you trying_ shit _if you thought you could just pack your things and leave us! You’re a piece of utter_ shit _, dad! I hate you!”_

 

“I’ll just—“

 

“Of course, sorry—“

 

They move awkwardly past each other; Terje leaving the room and Isak walking in.

 

It’s plain and the only furniture in the room is a built-in closet, a bed, a desk and a chair. Since it had never really been lived in, there’s not much life to it.

 

“I’ll be downstairs,” Terje tells him and leaves quickly.

 

Isak closes the door before he sits on the bed. The first thing he does is to text Even.

 

 *

 

*

 

It’s not late, but as always during winter time, it’s dark. And with the few hours of sun, it wears you out.

 

Isak is already in bed, ready to sleep when the clock turns 11pm. It’s a rather unusual occurrence, but he also wants to be awake (and look somewhat _alive_ ) when Even turns up tomorrow.

 

It feels a bit… stupid, but every time he thinks of Even he gets butterflies. Isak will probably never admit to it, even though his friends can see it.

 

There’s a hesitant and light knock on his door.

 

“Yeah?” he asks, not really bothering to look up from his phone.

 

“Hi, Isak.”

 

He looks up and smiles. “Hi, there, _min solstråle_. Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?”

 

“Can’t sleep,” she says, a tad shyly. “Can I come in?”

 

“Of course,” Isak hurries to say, and scoots up on his bed to make room for his little sister. He locks his phone and puts it beside him. “What’s on your mind, then? Can’t sleep because you’re curious about what Santa got for you?”

 

Lea giggles. “I’ve been good this year! I’ve even eaten my greens.”

 

“What? Seriously? I think you’re lying.”

 

“Nah-uh!” Lea shakes her head, her blond hair following the movement. “I promise!”

 

“Alright, I believe you,” Isak relents.

 

Lea crawls up on the bed with him and tilts her head. “Where have you been?”

 

Isak frowns. “What do you mean?”

 

“Why haven’t you been here?”

 

And Isak’s heart drops again. Why hasn’t he?

 

He had been angry—and sad—and the feeling of being rejected so harshly had wounded him in a way that he isn’t sure he could ever get over. But regardless of his feelings, he should never have just… disappeared.

 

Truth to be told, he hadn’t really thought about what his actions had done to Lea, and how his decision to never visit had affected her.

 

Had he inadvertently caused her to feel rejected? Had his absence filled her heart with desolation?

 

They had used to be so close. Despite their age difference, he had always been there for her. When bullies in pre-school had laughed at her for wearing a jumper Isak used to have when he was little, he had called their parents and told them off. _Isak_ did that for her, not his dad or his mum.

 

 _Isak_ had been there for her when she cried. _Isak_ had been there when she laughed. He had been there when she’d taken her first steps and— _God_ —her first word had been _Isak_.

 

That’s why he calls her his sunray. She had been the sun in his life and she would always be that to him, no matter what.

 

“I guess I was angry at dad,” he says finally, his mind reeling.

 

“Why didn’t you talk to him then? When I’m angry we always talk and it feels so much better after that!”

 

 _It isn’t that simple_.

 

Isak hums. “I guess I was scared, too.”

 

“Scared of dad? You get scared of monsters and—and—and spiders! But not _dad_!”

 

“I mean… I was scared of what his reaction would be.”

 

“I don’t understand,” Lea says and looks at him with eyes that bore no judgement.

 

Isak’s heart breaks a bit. “It wasn’t the easiest time for me either.”

 

“Were you sad?” Lea asks, tilting her head. “You should talk to me when you’re sad, Isak. I could always talk to you when I was sad about something.”

 

Isak smiles a bit at that. “I know. But it—the thing is—“ he has to take a deep breath, “—I tried to be someone I wasn’t because I was scared of what mum and dad would think if they knew the real me.”

 

“You tried to be someone else? But Isak, you always told me to stand up for myself,” Lea says, but she doesn’t sound upset. She just sounds confused.

 

“I know,” he says again. “Lea, I like boys the same way Rapunzel loves Flynn Rider.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“And some people aren’t okay with boys liking boys that way,” he tries to explain. “So I was scared about telling mum and dad about it.”

 

“People aren’t okay with boys liking boys? But what about girls liking girls?” she asks, frowning in deep thought.

 

“That too,” Isak tells her.

 

“That sounds dumb,” Lea tells him.

 

“It is,” Isak smiles. He ruffles her hair affectionately. “And then I fell in love with this boy—“

 

“ _Oooh_ ,” Lea squeals and claps her hands. “Tell me!”

 

“His name is Even,” he tells her. “He’s ridiculous a lot of times, but I really, really like him.”

 

“Do you like him or love him?”

 

“I think I love him.”

 

“Is he nice?” she asks then.

 

“He’s very nice and kind,” Isak assures her.

 

“Alright,” Lea says. “That’s good.”

 

“It is,” Isak agrees and brushes her hair with his fingers.

 

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

 

Isak pretends to think about it. “I don’t know, Lea. You like to kick me out of my own bed…”

 

She blushes and swats his hand away from her hair. “I haven’t kicked in _months_!”

 

“Alright, then,” Isak relents with a grin. “Have you brushed your teeth?”

 

She flashes her teeth. “Yup!”

 

He stands up and lifts away his phone and charger from the bed. Then he grabs the cover and lets her sneak in.

 

“I’m gonna go brush my teeth. I’ll be right back,” he tells her.

 

He grabs his toothbrush and walks over to the bathroom. He notices that this is the first time in a very long time that he can stand watching himself in the mirror without distaste.

 

It’s easy to forget who you are, but he reluctantly must admit that Even might’ve had a point when he talked about being the director of your own life. Isak feels lighter than he has ever since he had realised that his feelings for Jonas were not all platonic.

 

He creeps back and wraps the cover over himself. Thinking that Lea had fallen asleep already, he brushes some stray hair from her face.

 

She seems peaceful.

 

“You’re not disappearing again, are you?” she asks quietly.

 

Isak is startled by the sudden question. He hopes his heart is big enough to deal with another crack. The question itself isn’t what makes Isak sad; it’s the sad tone in her voice, as though she is ready to see him gone again for a few months.

 

He bites down his tears. “No,” he chokes out and pulls her closer. He presses a kiss on top of her head and breathes in all that she is. “No, Dad and I’ve been talking,” he tells her.

 

“Good,” Lea says, and snuggles closer.

 

Then she turns around and looks at Isak. “Are you going to be gone when I wake up?”

 

Isak has to break their eye-contact and look away to stop himself from crying. He takes a deep breath and flashes her a wry smile. He playfully boops her nose.

 

“No, I promise you I’ll be here when you wake up.”

 

“Alright,” she mumbles, and finally she lets sleep take her.

 

Isak stays awake a while longer with an aching heart. Tears silently roll down his cheek.

 

“I love you, Lea,” he whispers silently, his voice croaking. “I hope you know that.”

 

He receives a quiet snore in reply.

 

*

 

Lea wakes him up at eight, but Isak doesn’t mind. She seems pleased to find Isak still being there with her, and Isak _knows_ he would never make the same mistake again.

 

He would never forgive himself for disappearing on her.

 

At eleven on the dot, Even arrives at the house with a big smile. He greets Terje effortlessly and is met with a big hug from Lea.

 

Isak watches the interaction a few steps away with a tired smile on his face.

 

“ _Halla_ ,” Even says, when Lea finally lets go.

 

“ _Halla_ ,” Isak says. “I’ve missed you.”

 

Even’s eyebrows rise for a brief moment, as if to say, _it hasn’t even been 24 hours yet_ , but breaks into an even bigger grin.

 

“C’mere,” he says, taking off his shoes at the same time. Isak walks up to him and slides an arm around Even’s waist. “I wanna kiss you.”

 

It’s Isak’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “So kiss me then,” he says quietly.

 

And Even does.

 

Yeah, Isak thinks, leaning into Even’s arms. He’s pretty sure this could be _home_.

 

*

 

 _“How do you throw dirt on a seed and not expect it to grow, yo?_  
_Man, we come from the dirt,_  
_Ain’t no shining, just in photos”_

—Angel Haze with On Fire

**Author's Note:**

>  _Min solståle_ means _My sunray_ , literally translated ( _sunbeam_ might be a better word). In Sweden, at least, we use it the same way as with the English _sunshine_ \-- well, sort of, I suppose. I really looked into this and I'm 99.9 % certain it's spelt the same way in Norwegian as in Swedish.
> 
>  _Snakkes_ is basically... Talk to you later, I suppose. I'm rolling my eyes at myself. Translation has never been my strongest skill.
> 
> I have proofread this like... twice. And I'll do it seamlessly after I've published it, because I'm lazy but also sort of a perfectionist.
> 
> Now, if no other plotbunnies will attack from nowhere, I might be able to finish the fic idea I've had since the season was still running...


End file.
